Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service!

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you die !

Whats the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead lawyer on the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog!

What is black & brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.

What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming human.

Lawyers creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.

Youre trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets, what should you do? Shoot the lawyer, twice !!

What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a sleazy politician? Chelsea Clinton.

It was so cold around here last winter, (how cold was it?) I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets !

Whats the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier? Lipstick !

What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from a plane? Skeet.

What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.

Why has there never been a reported case of a shark biting a lawyer? Professional courtesy !

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a lost hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course; all of the other three are mythical creatures!