41 Things Men Know

41 Rules Men Wish Women Knew

1. If you think youre fat, you probably are. Dont ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if its up put it down.

3 . Dont cut your hair. Ever.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!

5. If you ask a question you dont want an answer to, expect an answer you dont want to hear.

6. Sometimes, hes not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Dont ask him what hes thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lent, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Get rid of your cat. And no, its not different, its just like every other cat.

9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

10. Sunday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

11. Shopping is not sport.

12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

13. You have enough clothes.

14. You have too many shoes.

15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but dont expect us to like it.

16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints dont work.

18. No, he doesnt know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. Were bound to miss sometimes.

20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think wed be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

23. Your Mom doesnt have to be our best friend.

24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

25. Check your oil.

26. Dont give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

27. Dont fake it. Wed rather be ineffective than deceived.

28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

30. If you dont dress like the Victorias Secret girls, dont expect us to act like soap opera guys.

31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

32. Let us ogle. If we dont look at other women, how can we know how
pretty you are?

33. Dont rub the lamp if you dont want the genie to come out.

34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done not both.

35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

36. Christopher Columbus didnt need directions, and neither do we.

37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.

39. Telling us that the models in the mens magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and its certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.

40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

41. Anyone can buy condoms.

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