A Calculus Carol

written by: Denis Gannon (1940-1991)

sung to the tune of Oh, Christmas Tree

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,

How tough are both your branches.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,

To pass what are my chances?

Derivatives I cannot take,

At integrals my fingers shake.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,

How tough are both your branches.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,

Your theorems I cant master.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,

My Proofs are a disaster.

You pull a trick out of the air,

Or find a reason, God knows where.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,

Your theorems I cant master.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,

Your problems do distress me.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,

Related rates depress me.

I walk toward lampposts in my sleep,

And running water makes me weep.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,

Your problems do distress me.

Oh, Calculus; Oh,Calculus,

My limit I am reaching.

Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus,

For mercy Im beseeching.

My grades do not approach a B,

Theyre just an epsilon from D.

Oh, Calculus; Oh,Calculus,

My limit I am reaching.