A man goes into a bar one evening and is surprised to see a ferret with no teeth, on the bar. He asks the barman what the ferret is for.

That, sir, says the barman,is a gentlemans pleasure.

So saying he puts the ferret down the front of the mans trousers. The ferret scurries around for a minute and then gives the man the best blow job hes ever had. Afterward, he asks the bartender if he can buy the ferret for $500.

No can do, he says, it cost me a lot, what with the dental work and everything.

The man then offers $1000 and the bartender accepts. That night the man takes the ferret home and goes into the kitchen where his battle-axe wife is eating chocolates. He puts the ferret on the table and says: Look what I bought for $1000. Its a gentlemans pleasure.

What do you expect me to do with it?

asks the witch.

Teach it to cook and then fuck off! says the man.