This guy dies and goes to Hell. When he arrives hes greeted by the Official Hell Tour Guide who proceeds to show him around.

Upon finishing the tour the guide asks, say, do you smoke?

The newly dead responds Oh YEAH, I smoked for most of my life, Im a real connoisseur of tobacco.

The guide responds with, Well youre gonna LOVE Sundays! Well have fine cigarettes from all over the world, the best Cuban cigars, quality pipe tobacco…

Hells latest addition is starting to think hey this wont be so bad after all when the guide says so do you drink?

I love drinking, he responds, my favorite pastime!

Well youre gonna LOVE Mondays when we drag out our best bourbons, Caribbean rums, our 25 single malt scotches, fresh Guinness from the brewery… Our man is really excited now.

Oh by the way, says the guide, interrupting blissful thoughts of an alcoholic stupor, Are you gay?

What! How dare you! Of course not!, he replies visibly shaken.

Well youre gonna HATE Tuesdays…