15
May

A mother enters her daughters

A mother enters her daughters bedroom and sees a an envelope with Mom written on it lying on the bed. In great trepidation, she tears open the envelope and reads the enclosed letter, her heart in her shoes.

Dearest Mom:

I am so happy; I have eloped with my boyfriend. I have found real passion and he is so nice, with his piercing and special tattoos, especially the one with my name in a heart! I just love his big motorcycle, but its not only that.

Mom, Im sort of pregnant and Yaqui (thats Swahili for Warrior Prince) said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and thats one of my dreams. Ive learned that marijuana doesnt really hurt anyone, so well be growing it for ourselves and Yaquis friends, who will swap for all the cocaine and ecstasy drugs we want. In the meantime, well pray for the science to find the AIDS cure, for Yaqui to get better.

Dont worry about me, Mom, Im 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day Ill visit for you to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter, Melissa Louise

PS: Hey, Mom, dont freak, none of this is true. Im at Judys house. I just wanted to show you there are lots worse things in life than the report card in my desk drawer . . . Love you, Missy

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