A pirate comes walking into a dockside tavern. He has a wooden leg, a hook instead of a hand, and a glass eye. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The curious young man sitting next to him asks the pirate how he came to have a wooden leg.

The pirate replies, Well, I was standing on the deck of me ship one day and a wave washed me overboard, then a shark came along and bit me leg off.

The young man then asks, Well then, how did you lose your hand?

To this the pirate answered, Many years ago, I was fighting the Brittish and one of the dastards cut me hand off! So I had to put this hook on me.

The young man then asked, How did you get the glass eye?

The pirate replies, I was standing on the deck of me boat, and a bird crapped in me eye.

The young man, now completely confused says, Thats it? No fantastic story? A bird crapped in your eye and you lost it?

The pirate says, Well, it was me first day with me hook…