ACTUAL PRODUCT INSTRUCTIONS:

ON A HAIRDRYER:

*Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS:

*You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:

*Directions: Use like regular soap.

FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION:

*Defrost.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:

*Fits one head.

ON TESCOS TIRIMISU DESERT:

*Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:

*Product will be hot after heating.

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:

*Do not Iron clothes on body.

ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE:

*Do not drive car or operate machinery.

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):

*Warning: May cause drowsiness.

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:

*Warning: Keep out of children.

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:

*For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:

*Not to be used for the other use.

ON SAINSBURYS PEANUTS:

*Warning: contains nuts

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:

*Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:

*Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.