10
Jun

Advice from a male driver

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder.

This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off.

Man, that guy is stupid I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and heres why:

I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, thats 76 miles. Of these, 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper; most of the bumper-to-bumper is on 8 lane highway. So if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like one car very 40 feet per lane. Thats 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars on the areas not bumper-to-bumper. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by females, thats 18,000. In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. Thats 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding, thats 449. According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide, thats 98. 34% describe men as their biggest problem, thats 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period and is armed.

No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldnt DREAM of flipping her off.

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