The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be
the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majestys Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year
phase-in plan that would be known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, s will replace the soft c. Sertainly, this will make the
sivil servants jump with joy. The hard c will be dropped in favour of the k.
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome
ph will be replased with the letter f. This will make words like fotograf
20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach
the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben
a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the
silent es in the languag is drisgrasful, and they should go away.

By the 4th year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing th with z
and w with v.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary o kan be dropd from vords kontaining ou
and similar shanges vud of kors be aplied to ozer kombinations of leters. After
zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ish ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!