Appropriate Penance

A Priest gets a call from one of his golfing buddies on a Saturday afternoon. Weve got a tee time at 3:00 and need a fourth…can you make it?

Sadly the priest tells his friend that he has to hear confessions and cannot make it. His friend urges him to get a substitute. Well, being the only priest in this parish, he hasnt many choices. As he ponders his dilemma, he sees the custodian cleaning the church.

Hey, Joe…can you help me out?? He explains his dilemma and asks Joe if he would hear confessions for him.

Oh, no I wouldnt have any idea what to do!!.

Joe, dont worry…I have this card, you see. When someone confesses their sin, you look on the card…find the sin…and follow it over to the appropriate penance…its that simple…here comes the first penetant…try it!!

So Joe goes into the confessional and the first penetant comes in and kneels before the screen…Bless me Father…I have sinned…I have had impure thoughts.

Joe looks at the list…finds Impure Thoughts and orders: Say two

Our Fathers, three Hail Marys.and go forth and sin no more.

Thank you, Father,replies the penetant.

Hey…this is easy!!

The next one comes in. Bless me father. I have sinned. I have


Fornication…fornication…cant find it…oh there it is on the back.

Say 10 Our Fathers, 15 Hail Marys. and go forth and sin no more..

Thank you, Father.

Then the third arrives. Bless me Father, I have sinned. I have had oral sex.

Oral sex? Oral sex? Its not on the card! Joe is in a panic. He looks out and sees an altar boy getting ready for mass.

Pssst…Jimmy…cmere!! What does Father OBrien give for Oral Sex?

The boy replies…A Snickers and a Coke. Why?

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