Australian Rules Football is, like the games of many countries, a game of spectator devotion. Kids are born as supporters of a team, and die that way. Especially Collingwood supporters.

For example: Friend of mine (yes, one of those sorts of jokes) went to the Grand Final one year. Couldnt find a seat. Went into the Collingwood stand, saw and old bloke sitting next to the empty seat. Went over to him.

Excuse me, is this seat taken?

No, sit down mate

How come this seat was empty?

Oh I booked two seats, one for me and one for my wife

Is she ill or something?

No: actually she died last week

Oh sorry, I didnt mean to intrude on your grief

Its OK …

Why didnt you offer the seat to one of your workmates or family friends?

I would have done, but theyre all at the funeral