04
Oct

Barbie of the 90s

New Barbie dolls to represent the diversity of women in the 90s:

  • DIVORCED BARBIE
    comes with all of Kens accessories

  • TEENAGE SINGLE PARENT BARBIE
    welfare check from Mattel mailed each month

  • CRACK ADDICT BARBIE
    pipe included, sugar may be used to simulate crack cocaine

  • BOULEVARD BARBIE
    with cheap makeup, short skirt, and high heels

  • LESBIAN BARBIE
    Barbie with a butch

  • LIPSTICK LESBIAN BARBIE
    actually no different in appearance from regular Barbie

  • BULIMOREXIA BARBIE
    also no different in appearance from regular Barbie

  • BRUNETTE BARBIE
    the only Barbie with a brain

  • QUANTUM PHYSICIST BARBIE
    yeah, right

  • BOW-WOW BARBIE
    the ugliest Barbie youve ever seen

  • PUNK BARBIE
    has rings in all sorts of strange places

  • NAVY PILOT BARBIE
    comes with a body bag, wrecked fighter jet sold separately

  • BREAST IMPLANT BARBIE
    now Barbies a D-cup

  • CANCER PATIENT BARBIE
    remove the wig and Barbies bald

  • BLACK BARBIE
    once your Ken doll goes black, hell never go back

  • FEMINIST BARBIE
    has unshaved legs and armpits

  • BATTERED WIFE BARBIE
    comes with a restraining order to serve to Ken

  • BARBIE BOBBIT
    with knife, Ken had better watch out

  • BAG LADY BARBIE
    Complete with shopping cart; wearing everything she owns.

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