Because Im a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, Ill miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.

Because Im a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road-service until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isnt running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what Imlooking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I wouldnt know where to start. We will then drink beer.

Because Im a guy, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isnt an issue.

Because Im a guy, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk, or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like Cumin or Tofu. For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which feminine hygiene product is a euphemism.

Because Im a guy, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because Im a guy, I dont think were all that lost, and no, I dont think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger – how the heck could HE know where were going?

Because Im a guy, there is no need to ask me what Im
thinking about. The answer is always either sex or sports, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so dont.

Because Im a guy, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when sh