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One day, a man who had just turned 50 retired from his job. It was his birthday, and he was waiting for his surprise party from his wife when he got home. As he walked into his house, ther was no one there. He looked around and found a not laying on the counter. It read, Ive left you for George, were through. The man was dumbfounded, and extremely pissed. Who does she think she is? Leaving me for my best friend on my birthday? He got mad and tore up the house. On his way out, he ripped up the neighbors yard as well. He got in his car and sped down the road, going 80. He stopped at a car dealership and looked around. What the hell, he thought, Ill get the speed demon Ive always wanted. So he traded in his car and some extra cash for a speed demon. He was flying down the road, going 130 when he saw blue lights flashing. I dont care anymore, screw him. So he ran from the cops. After a grueling chase, he was stopped. Why the HELL were you speeding sir? The man smiled and replied, Well, today is my birthday, and my wife left me. I got home, but she wasnt there, because she left me. So I went for a ride by myself. Did I mention my wife left me? Then I got this hot rod, because I didnt have my nagging wife to tell me no. Then, I decided to speed because my wife wasnt here to tell me to slow down. I did mention my wife left me, didnt I officer? The officer nodded in impatience and replied, Yes, youve said that many times. But why the hell didnt you pull over when you saw the lights? The man smiled and replied, Well, when my wife left me, she left me for my best friend George. George is a cop, and I thought you were George, and I thought you were bringing her back.