27
Dec

Cat Codes

Easy code system to communicate with other cat owners and with the animal clinic.

Sex:
XFemale, spayed, no interest.
X+Female, spayed, but still interested.
X++Female, intact, but not particularly excitable.
X+++I am a kitten factory.
YMale, neutered, no interest.
Y+Male, neutered, but still interested.
Y++Male, intact, but not particularly excitable.
Y+++I would go through a burning building to get at a female in heat.
Size (largeness):
L—I fit easily into your shirt pocket.
L–I can curl up in two cupped hands.
L-Im somewhere between kitten-sized and average.
LIm average cat size, just right for your lap.
L+Im starting to slip off the side of your lap.
L++Im large enough to make a German Shepherd think twice.
L+++People sometimes mistake me for a mountain lion.
Weight:
W–Im so thin that you can count my bones.
W-Im slim, but healthy.
WIm an average cat, not too thin and not too fat.
W+Im a heavy cat, but its all muscle.
W++I need to go on a diet.
Claws:
C—Ive been declawed front and back
C–Ive been declawed in front
C-I have claws, but theyre covered with Soft Paws ™.
C+I have claws, but theyre clipped regularly.
C++My claws are unclipped, but theyre kind of dull.
C+++I have ten razor-sharp implements of death.
Note: C* can be substituted for C for a polydactyl.

Behavioral Traits:

These are optional fields that describe behavioral, as opposed to physical, traits. Consider omitting the corresponding code if your cat is normal (whatever that means for a cat!) or near normal for the sake of brevity.

I/O:
I+++You mean theres a world *outside* of the house?!
I++I live indoors most of the time, but will sneak out sometimes.
I+I prefer to live indoors, but go outside when I feel like it.
II drift between indoors and outdoors at will.
I-I come indoors to sleep and eat, but not much else.
I–Im allowed inside once in a while, but I eat and sleep outdoors.
I—Why would anyone want to live inside those big ugly boxes?
Temperament:
T+++I am a furry ball of affection and love everybody.
T++I like meeting new people and am affectionate with most.
T+Im shy about meeting new people, but am affectionate with those that I know well.
TI have a few special humans I really like, the rest I tolerate.
T-People are OK for feeding and playing, but not much else
T–Im annoyed by human contact and will avoid it if possible.
T—DONT TOUCH ME OR ILL SHRED YOU!!
Note: Many cats appear to be split-personalities, e.g.: T++/—
Activity level:
A+++All the photos of me are blurred.
A++I am always getting into, under or on top of things and am hardly ever still.
A+If you dont play with me, Ill find a way to play by myself. A Its easy to get me to play, but I like to sleep, too.
A-I work very hard at sleeping, but like to chase the occasional toy.
A–I may show signs of life in the presence of an excellent toy.
A—They thought I was dead, until they started the can opener. LOL!!!
Eating:
E+++Nothing even remotely edible is safe when Im around.
E++Im always hungry. What are you having?
E+I would rather eat than play with a toy.
EI enjoy good food, but sometimes the stuff I get is fit only for my litter box.
E-Ill wait until the others have eaten.
E–I would rather play with a toy than eat.
E—I eat just enough to get by.
Hunting:
HFood comes in a box, right?
H+I chase anything that moves, but am not quite sure what to do with it if I catch it.
H++I kill an occasional small rodent, bird or lizard, but would never eat one. (Well, *hardly* ever.)
H+++I regularly kill and eat small prey but expect to be fed, too.
H++++If I didnt kill it then I dont want to eat it.
Smurgling:
SI wouldnt be caught dead doing it!
S+I sneak an occasional smurgle.
S++When Im in the mood, I can smurgle with the best of them.
S+++Everybody leaves my house moistened with kitty-drool.
Note: smurgling is defined as kneading some part of a persons body or clothing while simultaneously nuzzling, licking or sucking.
Vocalization:
V+++Everyone in the neighborhood deserves the benefit of hearing my magnificent voice.
V++I have long, meaningful conversations with people.
V+I have a small but useful vocabulary of important words, like: Food!, Play!, and: Clean the box!
VIll let you know when its dinner time, dont expect to hear from me until then.
V-I know how to say Feed me!, but must be very hungry to do so.
V–Well, talking is a learned experience, Im trying…
V—Ifyou are killing me, I might squeak a little.
Fetching:
F-Why did you throw that thing?
FIll chase it if you throw it, but forget about bringing it back.
F+I can be coaxed into fetching a favorite object when Im in the mood.
F++I like to fetch and will often ask my human to throw things for me.
F+++I will fetch anything, anywhere, anytime. [Are you sure you dont have a dog?]
Intelligence (IQ):
Q—Every time I blink, I discover a whole new world.
Q–The principals of gravity still escape me.
Q-Im a little slow, but Im trying!
QIm an average cat: cunning, but no real reasoning.
Q+Im pretty quick-witted for a cat.
Q++I display near-human reasoning sometimes, such as double-takes and abstract reasoning.
Q+++Im working on my Ph.D. thesis.
Lap affinity:
P-Id rather lie on a hard rock than in a persons lap.
PIll use your lap if youre in the right room and Im in the mood.
P+I prefer laps to any other type of resting place, but they have to belong to people I like.
P++I am a total lap fungus. (Hurry up and sit down so I can demonstrate!)
Belly sensitivity:
B–Touching my belly is just cause for my taking your arm off at the elbow.
B-I like to lay on my back and show my belly, but youd better not touch it.
BWell, OK, you can rub my belly…but not too
B+Please rub my belly. Oh, yes! Do it some more!!
B++I like to have my belly drummed.
Purr activity:
PA–Me purr? Never!
PA-Ill think about it if you pat or feed me enough.
PAI like to show my appreciation when patted or fed.
PA+Pat me and Ill rumble.
PA++Ill purr as soon as you enter the room/yard.
Purr loudness:
PL—Theres something wrong with my voice.
PL–Youll have to put your ear against my tummy to hear me.
PL-Im a little on the quiet side.
PLIm an average purrer.
PL+Im a little louder than the average cat.
PL++Im a real power purrer!
PL+++Ive been known to set off car alarms.

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