Old Jokes | New Jokes

A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and she finds a peel-off prize. She pull off the tab and yells, I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home; I WON a motor home!

The waitress runs over and says, Thats impossible. The biggest prize given away was a mini van!



The blonde replies, No. I WON A motor home, I WON a motor home!



By this time the manager makes his way over to the table and says, You couldnt possibly have won a motor home because we didnt have that as a prize!



Again the blonde says, No, no mistake, I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!



The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, WIN A BAGEL.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?

A: Nice tits!

Two blondes were riding a train for the first time. They had brought along a bag of bananas for lunch. Just as one bit into her banana, the train entered a tunnel under a mountain.

In the darkness was overheard, Did you take a bite of your banana?

No.

Well, dont. I did and I just went blind.

A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy. The brunette replied, "I think Ill buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?" The blonde said, "I think Im gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it."

What did the blonde mother say to the blonde daughter?"If youre not in bed by 12, you can come home!"

How do you know a blondes having a bad day? Her tampons behind her ear and she cant find her pencil.

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?

She sticks it in the microwave!

One who doesnt move her lips when she reads.

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.

Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. Awww, look at the dead birdie, she says sadly.

The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, Where? Where?

Q: Whats the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?

A: The prostitute says, Arent you done yet?
The nympho says, Are you done already?
The blonde says, Beige. . . I think Ill paint the ceiling beige.