13
Mar
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once!
Archive for the ‘Blonde’ Category
11
Mar
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, a blonde, new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldnt get her brand new 22 ft Bayliner to perform. It wouldnt get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the boat. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
10
Mar
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee: Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are at… VERY SLOWLY?
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said…
Burrrrrrrr, Gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing
09
Mar
08
Mar
06
Mar
06
Mar
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see whats in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see whats in bed and go to the fridge.
Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A: Both of them.
Q: Why did the man cross the road?
A: He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q: Why dont women blink during foreplay?
A: They dont have time.
Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg?
A: They wont stop to ask directions.
Q: What do men and sperm have in common?
A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A: The bonds mature.
Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We dont know; it has never happened.
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
A: They all already have boyfriends.
Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A: A Widow.
Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A: His hand caught fire.
Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes.
Q: What did God say after creating Adam?
A: I must be able to do better than that.
Q: What did God say after creating Eve?
A: Practice makes perfect.
Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.
Q: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A: They are married.
Man says to God: God, why did you make woman so beautiful?
God says: So you would love her.
But God, the man says, why did you make her so dumb?
God says: So she would love you.
03
Mar
Did you hear about the new blonde paint? Its not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
02
Mar
A blonde and a red head were walking along a path in a park. The red head turns to the blonde and says, poor thing look at the dog with one eye.
The blonde covers one of her eyes and says where?