Old Jokes | New Jokes

A blonde will screw anyone, a bitch will screw anyone but you.

A: There is a stamp on it.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone.

Why did the blonde run out of shampoo? She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!

What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? They both swallowed a lot of semen.

There was three girls a brown head, a red head, and a blonde head. They where going to go on a hike in the desert and the brown head said she would take some food if they got hungry, the red head said she would bring water if they got thirsty, and the blonde head said shed bring a car door……..so if they got hot she could roll down the window.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A1: Whats a lightbulb?
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, Daaady!

On her way home a blonde drove past a sign that said CLEAN
RESTROOMS 8 MILES.

By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

This guy just started at his new job, working at a porn shop. His boss comes out and tells him that he has to leave for a while, and asks if he could handle it alone for a bit. The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the bosss positive comments he finally agrees. So, the guy is there by himself for a little while and a white woman comes in. She asks, How much for the white dildo?He answers, $35.She: How much for the black one?He: $35 for the black one, $35 for the white one.She: I think Ill take the black one. Ive never had a black one before.She pays him, and off she goes. A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks How much for the black dildo?He: $35.She: How much for the white one?He: $35 for the white one, $35 for the black one.She: Hmmm…I think Ill take the white one. Ive never had a white one before…She pays him, and off she goes.About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, How much are your dildos?He: $35 for the white, $35 for the black.She: Hmmmmm….how much is that plaid one on the shelf?He: Well, thats a very special dildo…itll cost you $165.She thinks for a moment and answers, Ill take the plaid one, Ive never had a plaid one before….She pays him, and off she goes. Finally, the guys boss returns and asks, How did you do while I was gone?To which the saleman responded, I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.



She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, Ive kidnapped you.



She then wrote a note saying, Ive kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.



The Blonde then pinned the note to the kids shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?