Old Jokes | New Jokes

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:———————————
Cheese Sandwich $ 1.50
Chicken Sandwich $ 2.50
Hand Job $10.00
———————————Checking his wallet he finds one single ten dollar bill.
He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.Yes? she inquires with a knowing smile, can I help you?I was wondering, whispers the man, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?Yes, she purrs, indeed I am!The man replies Well go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?

A: Tits Go In Front.

Youre a dumb blonde and you need to overcome that stereotype.

Q: Why does a blonde always fail her road test? A: Because every time the car stops, she jumps in the backseat!

Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her drivers test?

A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

A: Artificial intelligence.

A blonde named Anna had a near death experience. The other day she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager happened to walk by and unplug it.

Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?

A: More head room.

There are these three blondes and they r stuck on and island, 1 of the blondes go kicks something and when she does a genie ops out. the genie says ok i will give u 1 wish each so the first blonde goes says i wish i was 10% smarter so i can get of this island poof she turns into a redhead and swims off the island, the second blonde goes i wish i was 30% smarter so i can get of this island poof she turns in to a brunette and builds a raft and rows off the island, the third one goes i wish i was 100% smarter to get off this island poof she turns into a guy and walks across the bridge!

A blonde walks into a circuit store. She goes to the back and asks the clerk Can I have this T.V.? He said No. Why not? asked the blonde. Because your a dumb blonde.



She comes back the next day with a new hair color. She again asked the same clerk if she could have that same T.V.. He again said no. When she asked why he responded Because thats not a T.V., that is a microwave.