Old Jokes | New Jokes

One day, a little boy went to his father daddy, is God male or female? and his father answered Well son, God is both male and female.Then the boy asked Daddy, is God black or white? and his father answered well son, God is both black and white.Then the boy asked Daddy, is God gay or straight? and his father said well son, God is both gay and straight.The boy was quiet for a while and seemed to be thinking. Finally he broke the silence by saying Daddy, is God Michael Jackson?

Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks:

Doctor, how long before we can have sex?

The doctor replies, Id wait until hes at least 14.

What do Micheal Jackson and Caviar have in common?

They both come on little crackers.

Michael Jackson was in a room bumming George Michael. Suddenly Michael Jackson said I have to go now, but ill be back in five minutes, whatever you do dont wank. At that, Michael left.



Five minutes later Michael returned to find cum all over the ceiling and walls. What the hell happened here, I told you not to wank. But George replied I didnt; I farted

Q: Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with, and you carry your groceries in in the other one.

Whats the definition of mixed emotions?
– When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Whats the height of conceit?
– Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Whats the definition of macho?
– Jogging home from your own vasectomy

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
– One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.

Why dont blind people like to sky dive?
– Because it scares the heck out of the dog.

How do you double the value of a Yugo?
– You fill it with gas.

What do the LAPD and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
– Neither of them can stop a Bronco.

Have you heard George Michaels new song?
– Its called Zip Me Up Before You Go Go

I walked in a bar the other day and ordered a double.
– The bartender brings out a guy who looks just like me.

Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
– Anyone can roast beef.

What is forty feet long and has eight teeth?
– The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

Whats the difference between a lawyer and God?
– God doesnt think hes a lawyer.

Whats the weather like in Tahoe?
– Gloomy all over and Sonny around one tree.

What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?

They both have boys pants half off.

What college did Michael Jackson attend?

Whats the difference between a polythene bag and Michael Jackson?



A: One is made of plastic and dangerous to



children,the other is used to carry your



shopping home!

Tommy Lees………………Camp Kickachick
Monica Lewinskys………Camp Suckaweewee
President Clintons……….Camp Getahoochie
Ellen DeGeneress……..Camp Lickacoochie
Kenneth Stars……………..Camp Catchacrook
O.J. Simpsons…………….Camp Killachick
Lorena Bobbits…………..Camp Cutaweewee
Tonya Hardings………….Camp Clubaknee
Susan Smiths……………….Camp Blameabrotha
Pamela Lees……………….Camp Lottatatas
Michael Jacksons……….Camp Wannabewhitey
Louis Farakahns…………Camp Killawhitey