Old Jokes | New Jokes

What do Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common?

They both stick their meat in 5 year old buns.

Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson was taken to the Emergency Room?
A: He was choking on a small bone!

A young boy asks his Priest if God is a man or a woman. The Priest decides to tease the boy and answers that God is both. The boy then asks if God is black or white. Again the answer is both. Next question, is God gay or straight. Once more the answer is both. The boy then asks, Father, is Michael Jackson God?

A little kid asks his father, Daddy, is God a man or a woman?
Both son. God is both. After a while the kid comes again and asks, Daddy, is God black or white? Both son, both. The child returns a few minutes later and says, Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?

You are a child of the 80S if:

• You know what a burnout is.
• You know what Sike means.
• You know the profound meaning of Wax on, Wax off.
• You know that another name for a keyboard is a Synthesizer.
• You wanted to be a Goonie.
• You know who Max Headroom is.
• You ever wore flourescent, neon if you will, clothing.
• You could breakdance, or wish you could.
• You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.
• Partying like its 1999 seemed so far away.
• You wanted to be on StarSearch.
• You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
• You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth, or knew someone who
  did.

• You knew what Willis was talkin bout.
• You had to have your MTV.
• You hold a special place in your heart for Back to the Future.
• You thought Molly Ringwald was really cool.
• You actually thought Dirty Dancing was a really good movie.
• You heard of Garbage Pail Kids.
• You knew The Artist when he was humbly called Prince.
• You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.
• You own any cassettes.
• You were led to believe that in the year 2000 wed all be living on the
  moon.

• You remember and/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from Pizza Hut.
• Or any other stupid collection they came out with.
• Poltergeist freaked you out.
• You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an E.T. lunchbox.
• You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
• You know what a Doozer is.
• You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or knew
  someone who did.

• You ever had a Swatch Watch.
• You can name 1/2 the members of Duran Duran.
• You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
• You had WonderWoman or Superman underoos.
• You know what a Whammee is.
• You had a crush on Jon Bon Jovi, or knew someone who did.

If you can identify with at least half of this list then you are most certainly
a product of the 80s!

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

Is there any truth to the rumour that Michael Jackson is to re-release an earlier hit. Its now titled …

It doesnt matter if youre Black THEN White

Q: What do you call a comedian in Afghanistan?

A: Larry the Kabul Guy.

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson rapes little kids.

1.Come out of the stall with wet hands.

2.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, Darn, I almost made it!

3.Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer.

4.Wear papertowels wrapped around your head and pretend youre Erykah Badu.

5.Write on the wall of a womens bathroom Tom was here. In the mens bathroom write Michael Jackson was here.

6.Ask a person in the stall next to you for a tampon.

7.Roll a roll of toilet paper all the way down the row of stalls.

8.For women, stand in front of the toilet.

9.Scream Ohh it burns! as you use the bathroom.

10.Lock the door from the inside, sound frustrated that you cant get out, then crawl under the door, getting as dirty as possible and complain to the manager that the door is faulty.