Old Jokes | New Jokes

Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jacksons ranch know when
it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand.

A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, Is God male or female?

After thinking for a moment, his mother responds,Well God is both male and female.



This confuses the little boy, so he asks, Is God black or white?



Well, God is both black and white.



This further confuses the boy so he asks, Is God gay or straight?



At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers none the less,



Honey, God is both gay and straight.



At this the boys face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks…



Is God Michael Jackson?

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with….The other is used to carry groceries.

Q: Whats brown and often found in childrens underpants?

A: Michael Jacksons hand.

Q. What do Michael Jackson and the Yankees have in common??

A. They both need a twelve year old boy to score!

What do Michael Jackson and cavier have in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

Whats the difference between a polythene bag and Michael Jackson?



A: One is made of plastic and dangerous to



children,the other is used to carry your



shopping home!

What do Micheal Jackson and Caviar have in common?

They both come on little crackers.

What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!

Michael Jackson and Arnold Schwarzenegger are in an airplane. There are lots of kids on the plane with them.

Suddenly an engine catches fire. The plane is going to crash. Realising this, Arnie and Michael grab the only two parachutes on the plane.



What about the kids? asks Michael



F**k the kids Arnie replies



Michael thinks for a moment and says



Do you think we have time?