31
Dec
What did the Pacific ocean so to the Atlantic ocean?
They didnt say anything… they just waved.
jokes
Archive for the ‘Crazy’ Category
31
Dec
Did you hear about the girl who didnt wear underwear in the winter?
She got chapped lips!
31
Dec
This right here is one of the best jokes ever. No matter what all my friends say.
Q: What did the Cow who crossed the road say to the other cow who didnt?
A: Chicken!
31
Dec
This guy is having sex with a hooker and he says, Youre so dry.
The hooker replies, Give me two minutes.
Two minutes later she comes back and they continue. The man says, Thats much better. What did you do?
The hooker replies, I picked off the scabs.
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Dec
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Dec
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, dont panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.
8. Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of Life Really Are…You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesnt move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldnt, use the duct tape.
9. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are I apologize and You are right.
10. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
11. Never pass up an opportunity to go potty.
12 If You Woke up Breathing, Congratulations! You have another chance!
13. And Finally….. Be Really Good To Your Family and Friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan!
31
Dec