Old Jokes | New Jokes

WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISNT YOURS?

NACHO CHEESE!

Sign in restaurant window: Eat now - Pay waiter.

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, Ketchup!

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. Good heavens, he said, what is this?

Why, its bean soup, she replied.

I dont care what it has been, he sputtered. What is it now?

I thought you were trying to get into shape?
I am. The shape Ive selected is a triangle.

Whats the difference between a Triscuit and a lesbian?

Ones a snack cracker, and the others a crack snacker.

On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.

Heck, Gloria, the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, we could have been here ten years ago if you hadnt heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!

A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.

Taipei, Taiwan (AP) - Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal can now go a step further - eat the plate.

Chen Liang-erh, 50, an amateur inventor, announced Friday that he had perfected an edible plate made from wheat grain, and that he planned to mass-produce it and other edible crockery including cups, bowls and food containers.

Chen spent six years developing the plate, which he said would retail at about 7 cents each.

Diners who dont want to eat the items - which taste like unsalted popcorn - can boil them for a nutritious meal for animals, he said.

Chen said this can help reduce pollution caused by discarded crockery. The only disadvantage, he said, is his crockery cannot be washed and reused.