24
Jun
Fortean Times reports that a British supermarket workers underwear spontaneously combusted. Luckily it was edible underwear, so the clerk ended up with cherries jubilee.
Archive for the ‘Idiots’ Category
04
Jun
The incredibly dumb
Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowners newly installed fire prevention alarm system. This is even worse than last year, said the distraught homeowner, when someone broke in and stole my new security system…
24
May
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
21
May
Really Stupid People
A Los Angeles man who later said he was tired of walking, stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.
19
May
These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world.
Newsreader, BBC Radio 4: Working mothers are the backbone of the third half of the economy.
Glenda Jackson, Channel 4 TV: Theres nothing athletes like - or indeed hate - more than hanging around like this. - David Coleman, BBC 1 TV
Not being in the Rumbelows Cup for those teams wont mean a row of beans, cos thats only small potatoes. - Ian St John, ITV
Oldham are leading 1-0, a well deserved victory at this stage of the game. - Tommy Docherty, Picadilly Radio
Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3: We dont appear to have Jim Fish on the line at the moment.
Are there any more great swimmers in the pipeline? - Cliff Morgan, BBC Radio 4
Andre Vandapole has four silver medals in cyclocross, and none of them gold. - Phil Liggott, Channel 4 TV
Well, I shall remember that catch for many a dying day.
17
May
It was a the end of the day for the boaters on a small lake. One boat had not returned. The dock master could see the boat on the water. He calls out Boat number 91, its time to return to the dock!
His boss hears him call out to boat 91. The boss says to the dock master, We dont have a boat number 91.
At that, the dock master pauses, then turns to the boat on the water and calls out, Boat number 16, do you have a problem?
11
May
The 2000 Darwin awards!
(11 August 1999) A 42-year-old man killed himself watching the eclipse while driving near Kaiserslautern, Germany. A witness driving behind him stated that the man was weaving back and forth as he concentrated on the partially occluded sun, when he suddenly accelerated and hit the bridge pier. He had apparently just donned his solar viewers, which are dark enough to totally obscure everything except the sun.
07
May
The incredibly dumb
A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the schools zero-tolerance policy…not to be confused with the zero-intelligence policy.
04
May
Newt Gingrich says that the major networks should give free air time to anti drug messages. For example, they should come on during your favorite show and talk about how drugs and alcohol are a dead end street… and now back to Nash Bridges starring Cheech Marin and Don Johnson. (Maher)