Old Jokes | New Jokes

These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world.

The effects are fleeting and lingering… - Overheard in a hallway

In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted. - CBS reporter during the solar eclipse

A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across. - Announcer on KZOK radio

He threw 110 pitches in six innings, and thats a mouthful! - CBS baseball announcer

An agreement is not an agreement until the parties to the agreement have reached an agreement. - Irish Politician on RTE radio

This is the biggest pawn that Israel holds in the whole hostage equation. - BBC world service.

We have two incredibly credible witnesses here. - Sen. Biden at Thomas hearings from Bob Ericson (Marlboro, MA, USA)

Hes going to step down til hes back on his feet. - Vermont Public Radio commentator on Jimmy Swaggarts latest sex scandal

Really Stupid People

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the films depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

Charloote Hornets star Anthony Mason faces charges of statutory rape of two girls, ages 14 and 15. His attorney will use the Kennedy defense, which states that together they were 29.

Your takeing a test for your job and the man said say your nameand he said abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxy and z
I just rememeber my abc!!!

Look 1: Starting with look,
Cow read all the way
How down to the last
Cow cow.
Many 2: Starting with the
Cow last cow at the
Times bottom, read up.
Cow 3: Now, starting with
I look, read down,
Cow skipping every other
Got word.
Cow
This
Cow
Idiot
Cow
To
Cow
Say
Cow
Cow