Old Jokes | New Jokes

Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.

Q: Whats a tuba for?
A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2.

Q: What is the difference between grapes and a viola?
A: You take off your shoes to stamp on grapes.

Whats the difference between a violin and a viola?

There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinists head is so much bigger.

Q: Why do drummers have a half ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they dont disgrace themselves at the parade.

Q: What are burning oboes used for?
A: To set bassoons on fire.

Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?
A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.

Q: How can you tell when there is a drummer at your front door?
A: The knocking gets faster.

Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.