Old Jokes | New Jokes

You might be a redneck if…
Your wifes hairdo attracts bees.

You might be a redneck if…

You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

Your screen door has no screen.

Your biggest ambition in live is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs round over yonder, backah Bubbas barn…

Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

Your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You have a house thats mobile and five cars that arent.

Your gene pool doesnt have a deep end.

Whats the state flower of West Virginia? A satellite dish.

Q. What would a hillbilly change his name to–who had finished third grade successfully, moved to Ohio, got a job in a factory, and moved into a better trailer park?

A. Mount William

You know youre a redneck when your flyswatter doubles as your spatula!

You might be a redneck if anyone in your family died right after saying, Hey, yall watch this!

You might be a redneck if…
The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if…
Youve ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

Three railroad construction workers, a Chinese man, an Italian, and a redneck, are all sitting down to lunch.
"Man," the Chinese man says. "If I get another egg roll in my lunch, Ill kill myself."
"Man," the Italian says. "If I get another slice of pizza in my lunch, Ill kill myself."
"Man," the redneck says. "If I get another ham n cheese sandwich in my lunch, Ill kill myself."
The next day, all three men get the same lunches, and they all three throw themselves in front of an oncoming train. At the funeral, everybodys crying.
"This is all my fault!" says the Chinese mans wife. "If only I hadnt packed an egg roll that day."
"This is all my fault!" says the Italians wife. "If only I hadnt packed a slice of pizza that day."
"Dont look at me," says the rednecks wife. "He packed his own lunch."

Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.