Old Jokes | New Jokes

Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for errors.

Requires work-value attitudinal readjustment: Lazy and hard-headed.

Should go far: Please.

Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.

Port: Fancy wine.

Enter: Cmon in.

Random Access Memory: You cant remember whatcha paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.

One who has mastered the science of remaining a bachelor.

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say…

OH, DONT FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. ITS NO BIG DEAL.

Translated:* I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that Im hurt.

HEY, IVE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT IM DOING.

Translated:* And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.

I CANT FIND IT.

Translated:* It didnt fall into my outstretched hands, so Im completely clueless.

Someone who is afraid of Santa Claus.

Is unusually loyal: Wanted by no-one else.

Judgement is usually sound: Lucky.

Keen sense of humor: Knows lots of dirty jokes.

A goose with a gush.

World Wide Wait

Terminal coolness.

An appliance that you screw on the bed to keep the house clean.