Old Jokes | New Jokes

An appliance that you screw on the bed to keep the house clean.

That annoying time between naps.

Parasites par-uh-sites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist farm-uh-sist: A helper on the farm.

Polarize po-lur-ize: What penguins see with.

A postponed compliment.

Dictionary of Evaluation Comments

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.

QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors.

TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited.

TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors.

Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.

Hard Drive: Getting home in the winter season.

Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.

The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: Im going to ask for something expensive.

One who shortens the day by lengthening his night.

A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.