04
Oct

Confession

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. Of course, my son, said the priest.

Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.



Thats a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess, said the priest.



Its worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors, continued the old man.



Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly, said the priest.



Thanks, Father, said the old man.; Thats a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?



Of course, my son, said the priest. The old man asked, Do I need to tell her that the war is over?


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13
Jan

Confession — 2

Tommy OConnor went to confession and said, Forgive me father for I have sinned.

What have you done Tommy OConnor?



I had sex with a girl.



Who was it, Tommy?



I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin.



Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?



No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot tell you who it was.



Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?



No father, please forgive me for my sin.



Well then it has to be, Sarah Martha OKeefe.



No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was.



Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Marys and 4 Our Fathers and you will be abolished of your sin.



So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph was waiting. What did ya get? asked Joseph.



Well I got 5 hail Marys, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads.

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