Cool Bumper Stickers
-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
-Horn broken, watch for finger.
-My kid had sex with your honor student.
-If at first you dont succeed, try not to look astonished.
-I.R.S.: Weve got what it takes to take what youve got.
-Jesus loves you… Everyone else thinks youre an asshole.
-Im just driving this way to piss you off.
-Reality is a crutch for people who cant handle drugs. -Keep honking, Im reloading.
-Hang up and drive.
-Guns dont kill people, postal workers do.
-Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
-If we arent supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
-Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not kicking and screaming like his passengers.
-Im as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
-We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
-Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
-Make it idiotproof and someone will make a better idiot.
-Im not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
-He who laughs last thinks slowest!
-Always remember youre unique, just like everyone else.
-Theres too much blood in my caffeine system.
-Assassins do it from behind.
-If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
-Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
-I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
-Dont take life too seriously, you wont get out alive.
-I dont suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
-Where theres a will, I want to be in it.
-Few women admit their age…few men act theirs.
-We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
-Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.