A pair of cowboys, Tom and Bob, were tending a herd of cattle being driven to market. Tom said to Bob I got me a real bad set of cracked lips from all this sun we been gettin, know of anything thalll help em.

Bob thought a moment and then said Let me tell you what an old timer did during the big drive in ought five for his chapped lips.

Tom wishing to relieve the discomfort said tell me, tell me so I can do it.

Well what you got to do is stick your finger way up your horses ass and get as much shit as you can and then smear it on your lips Bob recounted.

With a puzzled look on his face Tom asked that will cure my chapped lips?

No, but it sure as hell will keep you from licking em was Bobs response.