While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the mans testicles. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the it with an onion.

Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup.

Hows your sex life? the doctor asked.

Pretty good, but Ive had some strange side effects.

Like what? the doctor asked anxiously.

Well, every time I piss my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hotdog stand, I get a hard-on.