(Told to me by a fellow performer…)

A famous film director, having died of late, arrives at the Pearly
Gates. He is greeted by St. Peter, who is delighted to see him.

Peter: Great! We were waiting for you! Gods making a movie, and we need a
director.

Director: No, no, no! I am done! I have been directing for thirty years, and
I want to rest. Eternally. Get someone else.

Peter: But you dont understand. We have a script by Shakespeare.

Dir: Sounds great…Ill see it opening night. I wont do it.

Peter: Our set design is a collaborative effort between Leonardo DaVinci and
M.C. Escher.

Dir: Well, I really do need some time off. Maybe next time.

Peter: Its a Bach score! Cmon, youve gotta do it!

Dir: You tempt me, Peter….

Peter: Heres the clincher: Youve got an open budget, a tech crew known for
getting stuff in early, and all the audition material you could dream
of.

Dir: Okay, okay. Ill do it. Wheres the stage manager?

Peter: Over there. But first, there is something I have to tell you. You
see, Gods got a girlfriend, like, and she sings….