Dont touch me – because Im dead

An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good nights sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, Dont touch me.

Why not, he asks.

She answers back, Because Im dead.

The husband says to her, What are you talking about? Were both lying here in bed together and talking to one another.

The wife says, No, Im definitely dead.

Her husband insists, Youre not dead. What in the world makes you think youre dead?

His wife answers, I know Im dead, because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.

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