28
Nov

Elephant Jokes

Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?

A: Anything you want, it cant hear you.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?

A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.

Q: Whats grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?

A: An inside out elephant.

Q: What is grey and not there.

A: No elephants.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?

A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?

A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?

A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?

A: Ever seen a yellow elephant? (Stup-pid, fuul, idyut!)

Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?

A: Have you ever tried to iron one?

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It thought it was a game.

Q: And why did the tree fall down?

A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: How many legs does an elephant have?

A: Four, two in the front, two in the back.

Q: How do you get an elephant into a Volkswagen Beetle?

A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, and close the door.

Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?

A: Open the Beetle door, take the elephant out, close the Beetle door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.

Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen Beetle?

A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge?

A: Footprints in the butter.

Q: How do you know if there are 2 elephants in your fridge?

A: Two sets of footprints in the butter.

Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?

A: Cant get the fridge door closed.

Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?

A: Theres a Volkswagen Beetle parked outside it.

Q: How do you get 8 elephants in a fridge?

A: Put four in a Volkswagen Beetle, four in another Beetle, put the two Beetles in the fridge.

Q: How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?

A: Open door, get two Beetles out, put Tarzan in, close door.

Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?

A: You cant, silly. There is only one Tarzan!

Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?

A: The fridge isnt not large enough to hold them all.

Q: How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?

A: Depends on the number of elephants.

Q: The Lion gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?

A: They were stuck in the Volkswagen Beetle.

Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a Volkswagen Beetle?

A: None, the elephants are in there!

Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Dont be stupid, elephants cant change light bulbs.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?

A: Look, therere 1,000 elephants coming over the hill.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants with Sunglasses on, coming over the hill?

A: Nothing, he didnt recognize them.

Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?

A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.

Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?

A: No? Well, it must work.

Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?

A: Theyre all on the same team.

Q: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?

A: Getting two elephants into the back seat of your car!

Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?

A: Nothing, peanuts cant talk.

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