Excuses Given by the Guards at the Jesuss Tomb

  • I thought he was the pizza delivery guy leaving. No wondered he smiled when I tried to give him a tip!
  • I was putting another denarius in the chariot meter!
  • With the earth shakin and all the bright lights, we figgered we was abducted by aliens.

  • Since the tomb was already empty when the stone was rolled away, Im afraid youre speaking to the wrong department. Let me give you a BR#245-A-Res form
    and direct you to Burial Services.

  • As weve already stated several times before, according to the legal definition of escape, we emphatically deny any wrongdoing in this matter!
  • We was HYPNO-TIZED! Centurion Bobicus is still clucking like a chicken!
  • You told us to secure the tomb as best as we know how. We did! May I suggest an assessment of our current training program?
  • All I know is, this better not mess up my early retirement package!
  • Hey! Whatd you expect? Did you tell us we were guarding the Son of God?–NOOOOOOOOO

  • Whats the big deal? He said Hed be back!

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