31
Dec

Famous Quotes

Ah, yes divorce…from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet. – Robin Williams



Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. – Roseanne



Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. – Billy Crystal



You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, My God, youre right! I never wouldve thought of that! – Dave Barry



According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. – Jay Leno



In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to womens breasts? – Jay Leno



We have women in the military, but they dont put us in the front lines. They dont know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms. – Elayne Boosler



Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. – Phyllis Diller



Theres a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So, whats the problem? – Jay Leno



When the sun comes up, I have morals again. – Elayne Boosler



Theres very little advice in mens magazines, because men dont think theres a lot they dont know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, I know what Im doing, just show me somebody naked. – Jerry Seinfeld



If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. – George Carlin



Instead of getting married again, Im going to find a woman I dont like and give her a house. – Lewis Grizzard



The problem with the designated driver program, its not a desirable job.


But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. – Jeff Foxworthy



See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. – Robin Williams

Most viewed Jokes (20)