02
Oct

Fat Theology

In the beginning,
God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green
and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and
healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonalds. And McDonalds brought forth the double-cheeseburger.
And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure
that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive
oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the
roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra
pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not
have to toil to change channels.

And Man gained pounds.
And God said, "Youre running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre
into crisps and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.And
Man clutched his remote control and ate the crisps swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

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