This 85 year old
couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash.
They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest
in health food, and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion
which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and
Jacuzzi.
As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much
all this was going to cost.
"Its free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the
home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each
week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses
on earth.
The old man asked, "what are the green fees?".
Peters reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with
the cuisines of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Dont you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter
replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the
old man asked timidly.
Peter lectured, "Thats the best part…you can eat as much as you
like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick.This
is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat
and stomping on it, shrieking wildly.
Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault!
If it werent for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten
years ago!"