Old Jokes | New Jokes

Forrest Gump died and went to heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gates Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective Heavenly Soul must answer three questions.

1. Name two days of the week that begin with T.

2. How many seconds are in a year?

3. What is Gods first name?



Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered, 1. The two days of the week that begin with T are Today and Tomorrow 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. 3. God has two-first names and they are Andy and Howard.



Saint Peter said, OK Ill buy Today and Tomorrow, even though its not the answer I expected, your answer is acceptable. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year and why did you ever think that Gods first name was either Andy or Howard?



Forrest responded, Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,…OK, I give in said Saint Peter, but what about the Gods first name stuff?



Forrest said, Well, from the song… Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own… and the prayer… Our Father which Art in Heaven, Howard be thy name….



Saint Peter let him in without further ado!