This is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on the first day of class or for that matter, on any day of class.

11. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.

12. Become entranced with your first physics lecture, and declare your intention to pursue a career in measurements and units.

13. Sing your questions.

14. Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.

15. When the professor calls roll, after each name scream THATS MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry.

16. Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Wuchen Li. If you actually are Chinese, insist that your name is Vladimir Fernandez OReilly.

17. Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.

18. Wear your pajamas. Pretend not to notice that youve done so.

19. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters CHECK YOUR FLY.

20. Inform the class that you are Belgian royalty, and have a friend bang cymbals together whenever your name is spoken.