When a salesperson calls… 1. Insist you only trade in furs. 2. Hint that your on the verge of suicide. 3. Speak only in Pig Latin 4. Ask what the person is wearing. 5. Suddenly burst into showtunes. 6. Say OK ill pay the ransom by three, just STOP CALLING Hang up before they respond. 7. Answer the call with Bat Cave. 8. Pretend like you are a phone sex operator. Act as if they are calling in. 9. Say you have mental telepathy and that they should get there mind out of the gutter. 10. Act as if you are in the bathroom. Constapation noises help. 11. Slowly move the reciver away and then scream loudly YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!! Start crying. 12. Scream THE VOICES and hang up. 13. In a very manly tone, say Mommys not home right now, can me and teddy take a message? 14. Ask them to hold on and scream Get Fluffy away form the toaster! 15. End the conversation with This conversation never happened. Hang up immediantly. 16. Act as if they are your best friend. Inquire about the wife and kids. 17. Play Barry Manilow in the background and yell ROCK ON!!!!!! 18. Talk in a lisp and say Hold on sweetcakes, Ill be right back! 19. Make songs with the button tones. 20. Repeat everything they say. 21. Talk in third person. 22. Keep asking where they are from, when they ask why say oh youll find out soon enough then cackle murderously. 23. Ask how many Yen that will cost. 24. If they are male, act as if they are female, vise-versa. 25. Make weird noises for no reason then demand why they did that. 26. Pretend its a war and that CHARLIES ALL OVER ME!!! make bomb noises if nessasary. 27.Do bird calls and insist that your listening. 28. Ask them if they want a Valium. 29. Laugh histarically every time they say and. 30. Pretend you are trying to get them to join your cult.