Funny Sports Quotes

Sports Quotes

1992 Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his teams 7-27 record: We cant win at home. We cant win on the road. As general manager, I just cant figure out where else to play.

1987 Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four Fs and one D: Son, looks to me like youre spending too much time on one subject.

1996 Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: Hes a guy who gets up at six oclock in the morning regardless of what time it is.

1981 Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: He wants Texas back.

1966 Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries this season resulted from poor physical conditioning: One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?

1981 Mike McCormack , coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the teams co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: Im going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time.

1991 Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburns football dorm had destroyed 20 books: But the real tragedy was that 15 hadnt been colored yet.

1986 Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: Im not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.

1976 Greg Buttle, New York Jet linebacker, explaining his contractual obligations: They pay me to practice. Sundays I play for free.

1996 Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid Id get shot.

1981 Dorothy Shula , on the career dedication of her husband, the Miami Dolphins coach: Im fairly confident that if I died tomorrow, Don would find a way to preserve me until the season was over and he had time for a nice funeral.

1976 Mike Newlin, Houston Rocket guard, after a game his team lost to the New York Nets: We were the quintessence of athletic atrocity.

1966 Jim Camp, George Washington football coach, on why he doesnt use a lonely end: We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be hit by a car or drown.

1976 Hugh Campbell, football coach at Whitworth College in Spokane, Wash., after his team had defeated Whitman 70-30: It wasnt as easy as you think. Its hard to stay awake that long.

1986 Jeff Kemp, 49ers quarterback, when asked about his rapport with wide receiver Jerry Rice: Rapport? You mean like, You run as fast as you can, and Ill throw it as far as I can?

1966 Tom Nissalke, New coach of the NBAs Houston Rockets, when asked, during a question-and-answer session with a group of fans, how he pronounced his name: Tom.

1991 Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.

1976 Abe Lemons, University of Texas basketball coach, when asked if he felt his team should be ranked in the Top Twenty this season: You mean in the state?

Most viewed Jokes (20)