21
Jun

Game of Romance

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy…

Do something she likes, and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You dont get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, thats the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system.

Simple Duties

You make the bed+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets-1
You leave the toilet seat up-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings+5
In the snow+8
But return with beer-5

Social Engagements

Party

You stay by her side the entire party0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking mate-2
Named Tiffany-4
Tiffany is a dancer-6
Tiffany has implants-80

Her Birthday

You take her out to dinner0
You take her out to dinner and its not a sports bar+1
Okay, it is a sports bar-2
And its all-you-can-eat night-3
Its a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favourite team-10

A Night Out With the Boys

Go with a pal-5
The pal is happily married-4
Or frighteningly single-7
And he drives a Porsche-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)-15

A Night Out

You take her to a movie+2
You take her to a movie she likes+4
You take her to a movie you hate+6
You take her to a movie you like-2
Its called DeathCop 3-3
Which features cyborgs that eat humans-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans-15

Your Physique

You develop a noticeable potbelly-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts-30
You say, It doesnt matter, you have one, too.-80000

The Big Question

She asks, Do I look fat?-1
(Yes, you lose points no matter what.)
You hesitate in responding-10
You reply, Where?-35
Any other response-20

Communication

When she wants to talk about a problem

You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression0
You listen, for over 30 minutes+50
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV+1000
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep-2000

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