A 76 year old man went to the doctor for a sperm count. The doctor gave him a jar with a lid on it and told the old man to bring him back a sample.

The man returned in about three hours with an empty jar. The doc looked at him and said, Wheres the sample?

The old man looked at the doc and said, Well, its like this doc. I tried it with my left hand, I tried it with my right hand. My wife tried with her left hand and she tried it with her right hand. She even tried it with her teeth in and her teeth out and we couldnt get the damn jar open.