An obviously intoxicated gentleman staggers into a tavern and seats himself at the bar. After being served, he notices a woman sitting a few stools down. He motions the bartender over and says Bartender, Id like to buy that old douche bag down there a drink.

Somewhat offended, the bartender replies Sir, I run a respectable establishment, and I dont appreciate you calling my female customers douche bags.

The man looked ashamed of himself and muttered Youre right, that was uncalled for…please allow me to buy the woman a cocktail.

Thats better said the bartender and he approached the woman. Maam, the gentleman down the bar would like to buy you a drink… what would you like?

How nice! replied the woman, Ill have a vinegar and water.