24
Oct

Golf laws

Finally theres a logical explanation to the confusion and complexity of the game. You might just enjoy these:

Tour Through The Absolute Laws of Golf

The 1st Tee: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summmer and, eventually, a lifetime.

The 2nd Dogleg: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

The 3rd Hole: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

The 4th Fairway: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should immediately be cut down.

More on the Laws of Golf…

The 5th Hole: The higher a golfers handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instuctor.

The 6th Rough: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

The 7th Fairway: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

The 8th Tee: Palm trees eat golf balls.

The 9th Sand Bunker: Sand is alive. If it isnt, how do you explain the way it works against you?

The Back Nine of the Laws of Golf…

The 10th Green: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.

The 11th Water Hazard: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent — or some similar combination.

The 12th Tee: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.

The 13th Fairway: Golf balls from the same sleeve tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (see 3rd Hole)

The 14th Sand Bunker: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

The Final Leg of the Tour…

The 15th Green: Nice lag can usually be translated to lousy putt. Similarly, tough break can usually be translated way to miss an easy one, sucker.

The 16th Tee: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.

The 17th Fairway: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

The 18th Bunker: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

And Finally…

The 19th Hole: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset of the same day.

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