Hand Wash

Two Indian friends had settled in England. One had been living there
for some years and had caught on the some of their odd euphemisms. The other,
a recent settle, was as yet unaware of them. They were invited for dinner
by their English friends. After they had their drinks, their hostess asked
them, “Would you like a wash before I serve dinner?” The knowledgeable one
replied, “No thanks.” The new settler replied, “I washed my hands before
I came.”

On their way back after dinner the older settler admonished his
friend. “My dear chap, in England ‘would you like a wash’ does not mean
‘would you like to wash your hands.’ It is a polite way of asking would
you like to urinate?” The new settler made a mental note of it.

Some days
later when he ws invited by another English friend and after he had his
drinks he was asked by his hostess: “Would you like a wash before I serve
dinner?” He replied promptly, “No, thank you madam. I washed against a tree
before coming to your house.”

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