01
Apr

Having the balls

I got this joke from a roommate of mine, Keith Brown.
He acquired it when he went back to his hometown to
substitute teach at his high school. Sitting in the
teachers lounge, they were telling jokes and the
principal told this one…

One day, an elderly woman went in to the main Citibank office
in downtown New York City and asked the window teller if she
could speak to the president of the bank. Upon being questioned
as to why she needed to see him, the elderly woman said that
she wished to deposit seven million dollars.

The teller then rushed back to the president and said that
there was a woman who wished to deposit seven million dollars
and that she wished to see the president. Naturally, the
president excitedly said, Well, send her right in!

After the elderly woman and the president had talked for some
time about security and insurance and whatnot, she started to
fill out some papers. By this time the president had become
very curious as to how this plain-looking elderly woman had
come across seven million dollars in cash. Not wanting to
be too blunt, he asked her, Well, did you inherit the money?

She said, No, and kept on writing.

He then asked, Well, did you find the money?

She again said, No, and kept on writing.

Frustrated, he then asked, Well, how did you acquire the money?

She responded, I won it.

Still bewildered, he asked, Did you win it in a lottery?

She again said, No, and kept on writing.

Still curious, he asked, Did you win it on a slot machine?

Once, again, she said, No, and kept on writing.

Finally, the President asked, Well, how did you win it?

At long last, she replied, I won it by betting on people.

Confused, the president wondered, I dont understand?

The elderly woman then said, Well, let me give you an example:
I bet you $25,000 that by tomorrow morning at 10:00 your nuts
will be square.

The president pondered the bet for a moment and then said,
OK, Ill take the bet.

The old woman, not carrying the $7 million with her, said
that she would return the following morning to deposit the
money and settle the bet.

Not being extremely wealthy, the president took the rest of
the day off to think about how he would spend the money.
As well, he would occasionally feel his balls to make sure
that they were, indeed, round. After checking them about
100 times that day, he decided to check one more time before
he nodded off to sleep. Content, he went to sleep with a
huge grin on his face, still not knowing how he would spend
the money.

Upon waking up, the president quickly grabbed his nuts only
to find that they were still round. Relieved, he went to
work a little early, all the time pondering the spending
of his wealth-to-be.

Promptly at 10:00, the elderly woman walked in with two men.
As they entered the room, one of the men silently stood
against the wall. The other was obviously a lawyer, as he
had a briefcase and looked very official. Quickly, the
president made one more self-exam in which he found that they
were still round.

As the elderly woman approached the desk with the lawyer, she
queried, Well, how did it go?

The president replied confidently, It went fine.

The woman responded matter-of-factly, Well, if it wasnt
$25,000, Id take your word for it, but, seeing as it is
a considerable sum of money, Ill have to verify for myself.

Blushing, the president stood up and dropped both his pants
and underpants to his knees. The elderly woman reached across
the table and felt his nuts, saying, Well, I guess you won.

At that precise moment, the man standing against the wall
started banging his head against the wall, quite violently.

The president, surprised, asked, Whats the matter with him?

The elderly woman responded, I bet him $150,000 that by this
morning, Id have the president of Citibanks nuts in my hand.

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